What if my child wants to share Anti-Mormon information with me?



January 31, 2019 By Logan Hill Category: Children



"My son has left the church. Now he wants me to read something he found online about the church. What should I do?"

First, I would advise you to ask your child where the information is coming from. If it is from a church source, such as LDS.org, the Gospel Topic Essays, or other church produced websites, it is not Anti-Mormon information. If they produce a non-church approved source, letter, or book, feel free to tell them you are willing to discuss the issues with them but that you would like the information from a church source. Don’t be condescending, but let them know what they have to say is important to you but that you would like to have a reliable source.

If you choose to listen to your child, you may feel uncomfortable by hearing the information at first, regardless of the source. Know when people go through faith journeys, they may feel the desire to share the things they learn with people they know. You don’t have to agree with them but please don’t turn them away. If they have chosen to share their feelings with you, this shows that they trust you and want to confide in you.

Most of the time, people in this situation don’t want to argue. They just want to be heard. Listen to them. Their concerns are valid. Even if you believe they have been deceived, or have been given false information, or don’t have a complete understanding on the topic, it can be done without argument. It is okay to continue to dialogue with them. It is okay to present additional facts or insight. When defending the gospel, argument or fighting is never an effective method of communication.

Show them that you understand where they are in their headspace. The last thing they want to hear is, “I know the church is true” as a response to what they said. They don’t believe that. Telling them they “just need to give the church a chance” also isn’t very helpful. If your children were raised in the church, they have given the church a chance their whole lives.

Put yourself in their shoes. They want to be able to talk to their issues about someone. They may not be able to talk to their spouse in fear of divorce. They may not be able to speak to their leaders in fear of church discipline. They may not be able to talk to their friends for fear of abandonment. If they cannot talk to the people most important to them in their lives, they may turn to other sources to have these discussions.



How to Approach


If you are willing to listen to the information:
"I know the church has things in its history that many find unsettling. Because you're imortant to me, what you have to say is important to me. I am willing to hear what you say, but please keep the information you show me from church approved sources."

If you are unwilling to listen to the information:
"I love you. What you have to say is important to me, although right now I am not ready to have this conversation. If you would like, you may send me information from church approved sources and I will take a look at them when I have the chance. I hope you understand."


Suggested Videos


Seeking Truth in Information

Ask Not, Doubt Not





This video contains warnings and advice from church leaders regarding where to look for information about the church. Not all information is to be feared.
In this video, Elder Corbridge of the Seventy explains that detailed questions about various topics in the church should not determine its truthfulness.



Suggested Talk


"Come, Join with Us" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf



Some struggle with unanswered questions about things that have been done or said in the past. We openly acknowledge that in nearly 200 years of Church history—along with an uninterrupted line of inspired, honorable, and divine events—there have been some things said and done that could cause people to question.

Sometimes questions arise because we simply don’t have all the information and we just need a bit more patience. When the entire truth is eventually known, things that didn’t make sense to us before will be resolved to our satisfaction.

Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the “facts” really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.

www.000webhost.com